Que sera sera…

It’s the worst feeling in the world to love & hate someone all at the same time. And it’s hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It’s funny but stupid how you want everything & nothing at the same time. It’s crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, & when you want to move on but you’re stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go & you can’t decide what you want. When you have so many things to say but you don’t know where to start. W hen you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther & farther away. It’s so hard to think back to how things used to be & look at it now and realize that things are different & they may never be the same. You tell yourself it’s not worth it, but if it really didn’t matter, you wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about it.
Maybe that’s just growing up. When you’re young, you tell yourself things like, "Well, if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be," as if that actually meant something just because it sounds like it does. I think you can say something like that so blithely because you expect to stumble onto something else just as wonderful just around the next bend in the road. But people are rare, unique things and just because everyone really does live a life full of farewells, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least realize what it really means to say goodbye to something that meant everything. Just because you will survive and get over it doesn’t mean you should let it go.
Promise me. That’s all I want. Just promise that you’ll never forget me. Tell me I changed you somehow. Let me know that I had an impact on your life. Promise me that you’ll always remember me. Losing you was hard enough, but I don’t want to go on knowing I mean absolutely nothing to you.
its the way we stay up past twelve;
telling each other how much we love one another.

Those nights when you can’t sleep,
it might be because you’re awake
in someone else’s dreams.



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