i cant help but wonder…

Can you get to a future if your past is present?
In past relationships….Do we search for lessons learned to "lessen" the pain?
What hurts more?
Thinking you should hate him?
Or knowing that you don’t?
i cant help but think about….the things i used to write…

Its been a long time since the first times.

The first time we met..

to the first time we kissed..

to our first fight..

our first good-bye..

our first tears..

to the last "I love you."

People say you never realize what you have until you lose it. In a way..they’re right.

But I never took you for granted because I knew any day I could wake up and you would be gone. I just hoped so much it wouldn’t be for a very long time.

But now I miss all those things I never really noticed..

Like how much I miss your hands holding mine..

I miss your smile..

No matter what was going wrong, all you had to do was give me that smile of yours and somehow i knew everything was going to be all right.

I hadnt seen that smile in forever.

I just keep hoping I’ll see it again so I can have that feeling that everything is going to be all right again.

I’m not all right. I’m anything but okay right now.

I just keep wondering if I’m ever on your mind.

Or if you ever miss my smile too.

I wonder if you ever wake up in the middle of the night thinking about coming back.

I miss you so much.

There’s nothing I can say that would ever make you understand just what you mean to me.

I want more than anything to see your smile again knowing it’s for me..

I need something to hang on to.

I need you..






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